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    August 17

    忽然

     
     
    昨天下雨,坐在建中教官室旁階梯上,愣愣的望著地上積水出神
     
    雨絲穿入水坑,點出大大小小各自不同的圓向四周擴散
     
    在那悶熱的氛圍下我忽然感覺到
     
    一股莫名的隔閡
     
    像一層保鮮膜般緊緊裹住建中的所有,把我隔絕在外
     
    雖然透明且薄,但我卻無法那麼理所當然的繼續坐在階梯上看雨
     
    彷彿這一切已經不再屬於我
     
    我仍然坐在此地的唯一原因只是因為我在等人
     
    而完成這個等待我便必須離開,再也沒有理由像高中生一般繼續留在這裡
     
     
    這是我在畢業之後第一次感覺到失去重心
     
    以往三年來甚至不需要睜開眼睛便可以打開衣櫃穿出卡其色的制服
     
    背上深綠色的書包出門
     
    時間,地點,方式早已掌握得一清二楚
     
    高一時坐在教室聽雨,混著老師上課與同學的絮絮
     
    心卻早已窩在團練室裡
     
    高二時站在活動中心裡聽雨,球場的吵雜與鐵皮屋頂轟轟的聲響
     
    高三時心裡早已不再有雨,頂多偶爾拿著一杯熱水踏著拖鞋發呆看著雨
     
    感嘆桌上已經長出香菇但五月的陰雨卻仍然綿綿
     
    畢業回來建中午後還在下雨
     
    可是我的心裡,滿滿的只剩下建中的日子
     
    那些在建中裡流走的日子阿,終於凝斂成一張拘謹的畢業照
     
    而每個人的臉龐,最後都迷濛在我眼眶的積水裡
     
     
    也許很多年之後,我們還是喜歡人生
     
    但更愛建中
     
     
     

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